Debbie's Story

We have often heard our minister say that your life can be drastically changed in just one minute.

Never in our wildest dreams did we ever suspect how our lives would be changed in just that one minute. We had just had a wonderful Christmas with our family in our new home. But the day after Christmas, I was putting groceries away, when the phone rang at 11:11 am. It was our 40 year-old daughter, crying and asking me to come to her work and get her as she kept blacking out. It took me 20 minutes to get there. In the meantime, she had suffered cardiac arrest, and actually left us for over half an hour. Due to a loss of oxygen, she now has a brain injury. When I arrived-the fire truck and ambulance were there. I was shocked to see them, but also relieved to know that someone was there that knew what to do to help her. I rode with them in the ambulance and heard them defibrillating her 3 times, and when they took her out of the ambulance, I saw them beating her chest. I knew she was gone, but I had a peace about me that I can not explain. They revived her a few minutes later, but gave me NO hope. I had a feeling she would be all right, even though the doctor told me he had done all he could for her and that she may never wake up. I challenged him to “watch her” wake up!

She was in the hospital for 8 weeks, 4 in ICU and 4 in a room where they had taken her to die! We had been told after 2 weeks that there was No hope for her. They said her heart was very enlarged and very weak. We were advised to take her off life support. Two days later, my husband suffered an angina attack so again, I was riding along in an ambulance with one of my dear loved ones! He had to have angioplasty in a couple days. When I got to the end of the hall to the ICU units, I didn’t know which way to turn, as he was in the room to the left and she on the right! It was a very hard time, BUT God brought me through it! After he came home, we again met with the doctor who had told us there was not hope for her and said she would remain in a vegetative state the rest of her life, if she even lived. I asked him if the only hope would be a miracle and was told yes. I placed my hand on his shoulder and told him he didn’t know my faith. He didn’t like that and walked away! You will see later on that THIS saved my beautiful daughter’s life! It took me a week to accept their decision, But then we went ahead and made the hardest decision of our lives and DID take Debbie off life support and moved her to the room where she was supposed to die! The doctor suggested that we didn’t take her oxygen off her trache as he didn’t want to suffocate her, and not to take the feeding tube as he didn’t want to starve her! I have since asked several doctors if they don’t usually take ALL life support and I have been told they ALWAYS do-THIS is where I felt God was in charge, when I told the doctor that he didn’t know my faith! At this point, I advised the doctor that the Great Physician was in charge.

I can go back over 50 years and see how I was prepared for this experience. I stood by the bedside of my dying father when I was 12, my mother when I was 15, and later on a sister and a brother. And now I was standing by the bedside of my dying daughter. I had given her life and now was facing the decision of possibly giving her death. What a struggling time. We had to do what seemed best for her. I told the Lord how much I loved her and that her family needed her so much, but if He wanted her, I would surrender her to Him. I asked Him to take charge and to help me accept His will.

After moving her to the other room to die, I noticed she kept watching television. Then her eyes would follow us around the room. The doctors still wouldn’t give us any hope. Eight days later, she stopped looking at me and I became discouraged. On the way home from the hospital that day, I told God that he had told me she was going to be all right, but that I was getting discouraged, and I asked Him to give me a sign that she indeed was going to be all right. Immediately, a Red-tailed Hawk flew out of the trees in the median and soared right along beside me!

My family considers Red Tailed Hawks to be a good omen anytime we see them, the very next day, I asked Debbie if she wanted to go home with me, and she shook her head yes twice! The next day she mouthed “OW” when the nurses were brushing her hair, and on the third day, she mouthed “I Love You” to each of her daughters! From that day on, she has responded more and more.

The doctors were still negative, but we’re not bitter toward them because we’re sure the care they gave her those first few weeks prepared her for her recovery to come. We were able to get her into a rehab center where she made very good progress. The nurses and therapists there were very compassionate. The doctors there were very optimistic also. Debbie is a fighter and so am I!

Victories are won by inches, not miles, therefore we can continue to remember and praise God every day for giving her the healing and us the strength to see us through this trying time. Back on April 12, 1996, Debbie went to Charlotte Rehab. I went every day to see her and help her. The first thing Debbie said was “I love you”. Just think-her first act of emotion was love. What a thrill! The second thing she said was “listen to me”! What a message. We need to listen to others more closely. I talk a lot so I really had to take her message seriously!

While Debbie was in Charlotte Rehab we were told that her heart was no longer weak and enlarged -the doctor told me he was surprised too, but I told him that God was in charge and to keep looking for surprises! I know God is not done with Debbie here on earth yet. We all suffered a lot, especially those first few weeks, but no one ever said life would be easy. God is SO good.

On May 15, 1996, she came home, on NO drugs. No, this doesn’t mean she was ready to come home nor that we were ready to bring her home. She had the choice of coming home or going to a long term facility! She wanted to come home So badly, so we cared for her at home for 7 years. Her doctors say that the love we have had for her could possibly be the best therapy she could get. We were there when she took her first steps with help. What a thrill! With God’s help, we knew we could get her through it.

After just 6 months, her insurance company canceled her insurance, and at exactly 1 year, Medicaid denied her any more therapy, which she had been getting 3 times a week. During the next 3 years, we saw her condition deteriorating drastically, to the point that she didn’t even know me anymore, and we had to resort to drugs. What time I have had with the system-trying to prove to them that a brain injury survivor needs that therapy constantly. After threatening to sue the state for neglect, I finally won and she started back to where she was 6 years before. At that time, she was feeding herself, taking steps, crawling all over the floor, brushing her teeth, talking a lot and her memory was coming back-she was continent, played card games with us and many more things. She still doesn’t have many of those abilities back.

At exactly 7 years, I emailed my pastor and for the first time in 7 years, I admitted I needed help-that I was not going to be able to care for her much longer due to my age and my health. This proved to me that I should have asked for help long before! He immediately stepped up for me and within 2 months, Debbie was accepted in an assisted living facility nearby! This had to be one of the hardest decisions I had to make-but I know I could no longer give her care and attention she needed. I stayed on top of her care to make sure she was taken care properly. She went backward for a while, adjusting to her new surroundings, but she later refused to eat, and, to make a long story short, she went through the channels and is NOW in a nursing home, much to my chagrin. Now she is showing improvement again-remember, this is 8 and a half years after the date of her brain injury-So there is always hope. She is very happy now and smiles and laughs so much-what a joy to see her this way. She now had 3 grandchildren and she shows them so much love. I liken this experience to a game of solitaire-you may turn up the one card you need just before the very end of the game you are playing until you win! What an example to follow!

It’s still a fight to get her the help she needs. I’ve written to many politicians and organizations. This has truly been an enlightening experience for me. I knew absolutely nothing at all about brain injury, but due to her affliction, I have done a lot of research, asked many doctors about the chances of recovery from brain injury.

Believe it or not, this has been a rewarding mission for me, even through the tears and frustration. I feel I have been chosen for this to help others who need the support and answers just like I did. I also feel that had Debbie continued on the recovery path she was on back in 1996, I would have never learned a fraction of what I have, nor done any of the advocacies which I am now involved in-so God has been in charge all the way in handling our situation. My faith has grown-for every hurdle I have jumped, my strength has grown! Debbie was suffering untold physical, emotional and financial stress which the doctors say caused her illness-and now she is not suffering at all! He knows what He was doing! And I feel the reason for her to linger on before she recovers and does walk is so I learn even more, including more patience and continuing to gain strength and knowledge-I don’t question that! God is in Control!

I have met many friends on the internet, and several support groups who have been most helpful. One friend and I started the Recovery Awareness Foundation, which will be there to help others who start out as we did-completely in the dark about brain injury. We know the pain and frustrations, we have searched and found answers by ourselves and now we want to share this information with others so they don’t have such a hard time as we did. My biggest thrill is when I can match someone in their country or state! We invite all brain injury caregivers to go to our website and let us know how we can help them. I know that Debbie and I are not alone and that together, with others, we can make a difference. Our loved ones can and will recover and not remain in that vegetative state we were told they would. Our web page is-Recovery Awareness Foundation-Surviving Brain Injury.

This site was put together by

Tracy Spracklen for Debbie.